For some reason, recently i have just stopped caring for a lot of things...And what makes this even weirder is that i've only started realizing this whilst playing a video game... I just feel like everything i'm doing seems so pointless...I don't have the drive to do any of my homework, i don't have the diligence to keep my pep up at work, and i just don't have the patience to deal let alone spend time with my family. I talked with my friends today about how college is supposed to the best time of our lives but we just go to school work part to full time jobs and do homework and maintain social lives on top of it. We agreed that it sux but we think we'll be better off since our schooling is free for some time, but it still didn't make me feel better... Speaking of school, isn't supposed to like use creativity to boost knowledge and allow people to boost that creativity into the career they want? With the way school has been going so far this semester i don't think that'll be the case anymore which is kinda making this depression slump worse... I just don't know what to do or if i should even do anything... Oh well...

Gave:

• Lauren N.: Drama Con Vol. 1
• Nick: One Piece Vol. 6
• Lauren B.: Bizengast Novel
• Acorn: Nintendo Beanie
• Bryan: Megaman Tee
• My Baby Niece: Max and Ruby X-mas package and The Busy Spider
  

Got:

• X-Box 360
• Starwars the Force Unleased and The Last Remnant  for the 360
• Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories
• Who Killed Amanda Palmer CD
• Twilight Soundtrack
• Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood for DS
• T-Shirts
• Slippers
• Cash and Giftcards
  

   

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Well i have returned from Rockford/Chicago and a shitload of stuff happened this week. But i shall break it down for you day by day!

Sunday: i had to wake up at 4 in the morning just to get to get to the bus by 5-ish so we could leave. we didn't end up leaving til about 6 cuz one kid was late...sdness but whatever, we stopped for lunch around 11:30. i ate by myself cuz i felt like it lol. Then we arrived about 12:45 and we were the third ish group, but we got our room assignments and the assumption boys got a room for 12 (we had 12 boys exactly) in the youth center at the top of a hill. But after that we had some time til we got to meet our teams for the week. I was in team number 2 and our adult was a Polish priest with an amazing laugh. Colleen was in my group which made me feel better but i also had other great team mates like Cat, Caitlin, Alex, Kellie, and Andrew. Our job, basically to do yard work at 4 different houses in 4 days. Not much happened after that. So bed time there

Monday: First day of work! So i get up and eat breakfast and head to mass before my work site. We get there and the house belongs to an older lady who needed painted cabinets, and stained porch. She also needed weeds pulled and hedges trimmed. So we started and got a little over half way done by 11:30 so we decided to eat lunch. Conversation was interesting seeing as how all we talked about was movies, tv, and the differences in places back in our home towns but it was fun lol. Well we finished the work at about 2:30 so we headed back to camp. I needed a shower but after that i was gonna chill with friends around the area. I ended up playing frisbee with mike krussel and other guys from our group but then i decided to take a walk around the stations path. But then dinner came then evening program followed by a youth group meeting then bed.

Tuesday: Day 2 of work. Usual up and breakfast and mass. Then we head out to our worksite. But before that we stop at the gas station for some caffeine cuz we were tired! So we head to this lady's house who is handicapped and hasn't been out of her house in quite some time so helping her house was just a great help she said. Caitlin had trouble not wanting to leave. But after finishing the work at 1:30 we decided to go to starbucks and get some refreshment. I had a green tea frappuchino which was amazing! We got back at 2:45 so shower and then i for some reason started pmsing... my emotions couldn't be contain anymore so i took it out on Neil...and Liz listened to me rant for about an hour but i didn't feel better...well after that was dinner and program followed by a psychotic dance party that almost made me pass out from overheating. But after program i went to bed.

Wednesday: Day 3...super emotional day. We set out for worksite number 3 with a stop at the gas station for like twenty minutes lol. We got to the worksite and it belonged to an african american couple with a caretaker than needed help around the outside of the house. So we did that and finished that around 2:30 and headed back to camp for probably the worst night of the week...I got back and had a shower and walked around and tried to relax but i had too much on my mind so i talked to jordan and sat in my room trying to relax...but that didn't work so i stayed there until program. It was a night that i didn't want to happen...the staff skit drove bad memories back to me...i didn't want to see them...and then came four corners...a night that just brings people and their emotions to their knees...and i fell as well. That night feelings flew into my head that i didn't want there but sadly they stayed and i had to make decisions...ones that will affect my life for a while...After the four corners incident we had a youth group meeting where we got dogtags. After the meeting and heading to my room i told Neil i had to talk to him but he said he'd text me when he was done with what he had to do. So i crashed for a little bit til he sent a text and i told him that i was sorry for yelling at him yesterday (via text) and then i told him that i was in love with him and he surprisingly understood but said that it just won't happen... and i felt a little better but my heart couldn't handle the answer so a scar was born. Sleep didn't come easy that night.

Thursday: The 4th day. I was tired. The night before had drained me to an extreme. I woke up early and walked around. I had enough of that so i grabbed a soda and Neil came walking out. I apparently looked upset so he asked me if i was ok and i just slammed my head down and said i was sleepy and sorta giggled, my ruse worked... I had to talk to Amber after that (she's the one who helped me get the courage to talk to Neil the night before) and tell her about last night. After all that, I went to the worksite, putting everything out of my mind. When we got there we realized we had our work cut out for us. We had to take all of the ivy away from the entire house. That's a lot of ivy but we got it all done and pulled by 1:30 so we called camp and asked if they could come and get rid of some of it. They said they'd be there by 2:30. We decided to leave a little earlier. But they called at 2:30 and we had to go back and put everything in the truck and the go back to camp and empty it. I needed a shower. After that relaxation and then a text from Neil asking if i had told anyone about the conversation and apparently Cheryl had overheard a conversation between Amber and Allie. And he said that if it got worse that both of us could be sent home. So i ran around looking for Amber and answers. I found her a little bit of the story and then Liz was wondering what was wrong so i told her what was wrong and she told me that it everything was going to be ok but i told him at the wrong time...i felt like i said the stupidest thing at the worst time...i skipped dinner as i had been all week and went to the room to try and sort it all out but that didn't work...So i wrote care cards to a bunch of people to take my mind off things but i finished so i put them in their envelopes and sat some more...i was going to skip program that night but Mike Krussel told me that i'd like it tonight so i went and tried to enjoy it. I did my best and sorta succeeded. well after that it was a youth group meeting and then i had to do major packing so i could be ready to just leave for chicago the next day but the lights weren't working so i made due and put my ipod on Jacob's ihome and packed and then danced the night away until the guys started returning to the room so i was done and getting ready for bed...More sleep tonight.

Friday: Final Day. This is it, the last day at camp. I woke up early and walked around again. And i helped out an adult from another church and sat with another lady from another church at breakfast lol. But everything was on the bus and i had my seat ready to go. Mass started and it ended and we left...to Chicago. 2 hour bus ride and i dropped myself off at Shedd's Aquarium. And a bunch of other people couldn't decide what to do so i got flustered and my emotions went hay-wire...So i was kinda out of it all day but the aquarium was nice and sort of relaxing. But sadly i would've rather been in the water than looking at fish in it...But then we took a trolley to find a pizza place and had to stop and ask directions 10 times (i'm not joking). But we made it and had a time situation so we sat hurried and ordered and had to pack the food when it arrived. We ended up being a little late. But i was tired and we had Cathy so we were kinda slow. But we made it and the ride home kinda sucked. I let Jordan know when we'd be getting back. And we stopped for dinner around 7-ish but i wanted to stay on the bus but i wasn't allowed to. So with emotions on a high-wire i walked behind a group going to wal-mart/subway i missed them walking in so i walked around and buy a diet and head outside. I wasn't stopped even tho i was seen as i passed the subway as i headed out the door. We got back on the bus and i didn't want to have anything to do with anyone was we hit the road. After a few more hours we got back into O'Fallon and that ended camp. I stayed and talked to Jordan for a little while about the events that had happened and about him. Then i went home and went to bed...